Seinfeld Episode Guide!

Pilot Fifth Season, 1993-'94
First Season, Spring 1990 Sixth Season, 1994-'95
Second Season, Winter 1991 Special - 100 Episodes
Third Season, 1991-'92 Seventh Season, 1995-'96
Fourth Season, 1992-'93 Eighth Season, 1996-'97
  Ninth Season - final season, 1997-'98

 


1 THE SEINFELD CHRONICLES - PILOT
Air Date: 7/5/89

This series features the title character's humorous insights on life & his experiences as a bachelor. Initially, a girl Jerry met on the road wants to stay with him when she comes to New York. George thinks that she is just using Jerry as contingency plan. Hoffman(Kramer??) comes by to borrow a couple of pieces of meat. The girl calls & asks Jerry if she can stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she asks to stay for another night. Jerry is disappointed when everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged.



2 THE STAKEOUT
Air Date: 5/31/90

While attending a birthday party with Elaine, his former girlfriend, Jerry is introduced to Vanessa. Despite his best efforts to obtain her last Name & phone number, Jerry is only able to find out the Name of the law firm where she works. With no other option, Jerry & his friend George wait in the lobby of the law firm, hoping to "casually" run into Vanessa during her lunch break.



3 THE ROBBERY
Air Date: 6/7/90

After his apartment is burglarized, Jerry decides to move. George, a Realtor, takes Jerry to see an apartment, which they both love. Trouble ensues when George decides that he wants the apartment for himself. They try to decide who will get it. Whoever wins Elaine wants their apartment. Meanwhile, Kramer searches for the stolen property.



4 MALE UNBONDING
Air Date: 6/14/90

Jerry is annoyed that he has to spend time with a boyhood friend whom he cannot stand. Jerry's tactful attempts to end the relationship fail miserably. Kramer has an idea for a make-your-own- pizza parlor & is looking for investors.



5 THE STOCK TIP
Air Date: 6/21/90

George persuades a reluctant Jerry to invest on a stock tip. When the stock plummets, Jerry pulls out in order to minimize his losses. George stands by his investment. Meanwhile, Jerry's weekend away with his girlfriend (Vanessa) is ruined by foul weather. Kramer has an idea for a roll-out tie dispenser.



6 THE EX-GIRLFRIEND
Air Date: 1/23/91

George neurotically ponders how to break up with his girlfriend, Marlene, & Jerry offers advice. When Jerry meets Marlene, he finds that he is attracted to her. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him & he becomes worried about what George might think is he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building & Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act.



7 THE PONY REMARK
Air Date: 1/30/91

Jerry's parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner & he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor. When she dies soon afterword, Jerry is afraid that his remark contributed to her death. He wonders if he should go to the funeral or to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of their apartment when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona.



8 THE JACKET
Air Date: 2/6/91

Jerry goes shopping with Elaine & purchases a very expensive suede jacket. Jerry's new suede jacket makes an impression on everyone except Elaine's father, an author cut from Hemingway cloth & not suited to pampering anyone. He wears it out to dinner with Elaine's grumpy novelist father. The jacket gets ruined during a snowstorm.



9 THE PHONE MESSAGE
Air Date: 2/13/91

George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend & then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. George leaves a series of angry messages on his girlfriend's answering machine, which he later regrets. George & Jerry try to replace the tape before she hears the messages. They find out that she already heard the tape & thought it was a joke. Jerry is disturbed that his own girlfriend loves a television commercial that he despises.



10 THE APARTMENT
Air Date: 4/4/91

When an apartment in Jerry's building becomes available, he suggests that Elaine rent it. After much thought, Jerry worries that this arrangement will affect his dating life & regrets his recommendation. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women.

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11 THE STATUE
Air Date: 4/11/91

Elaine persuades Jerry to hire a friend's boyfriend to clean his apartment. When Jerry realizes that a statue once owned by his grandfather is missing, he suspects the boyfriend. A confrontation could affect Elaine's working relationship with the housekeeper's girlfriend.



12 THE REVENGE
Air Date: 4/18/91

George quits his job as a Realtor out of frustration. When his boss fails to rehire him, George seeks revenge & enlists Elaine to help. Jerry & Kramer also seek revenge on a Laundromat owner who Jerry believes has stolen money that was in Jerry's clothes.



13 THE HEART ATTACK
Air Date: 4/25/91

In a typical display of histrionics, George insists that he is suffering a heart attack. He rushes to the hospital emergency room where he is diagnosed with a harmless case of tonsillitis. George becomes even sicker when he takes Kramer's advice to visit a holistic healer.



14 THE DEAL
Air Date: 5/2/91

George says it can't be done, but Jerry & Elaine set up rules & resume sexual intimacy with the understanding that they expect no more from one another as lovers than they did as "friends".



15 THE BABY SHOWER
Air Date: 5/16/91

Kramer persuades Jerry to install an illegal cable hookup. The bootleg installers arrive while Elaine is throwing a baby shower in Jerry's apartment. Meanwhile, George feels the need to confront the shower honoree, who once humiliated him on a date.



16 THE CHINESE RESTAURANT
Air Date: 5/23/91

Jerry, George, & Elaine wait an unbearable amount of time for a table at a Chinese restaurant. Elaine can barely contain her hunger & George hovers near the telephone awaiting a call from a girlfriend whose apartment he left hurriedly at a crucial moment.



17 THE BUSBOY
Air Date: 6/26/91

George accidentally gets a busboy fired from his job & tries to atone for it. Elaine invites a boyfriend from Seattle to stay with her for a week & discovers that a week is much to long to have a houseguest & that she liked him better before. The busboy's life is saved & made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's houseguest.



18 THE NOTE
Air Date: 9/18/91

Jerry's massage therapy is covered by his insurance company because his dentist(Roy) wrote a note prescribing the rub downs as a medical necessity. George & Elaine decide to make similar arrangements, but George is dismayed when he is assigned a male practitioner. Then, George's paranoia about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man & later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an insurance fraud investigation.



19 THE TRUTH
Air Date: 9/25/91

When the Internal Revenue Service seeks to audit Jerry, George arranges for his girlfriend, who once worked for the Internal Revenue Service, to help Jerry out. George & his girlfriend break up before she finishes preparing Jerry's papers, leaving Jerry & George to track her down at a sanitarium. Kramer sees to much of Elaine while dating her roommate.



20 THE PEN
Air Date: 10/2/91

Jerry & Elaine go to Florida where Jerry's father is being honored by his condominium association. When a friend of the family presents Jerry with a special pen, the gift becomes a source of tension among Jerry, his parents, & the other residents of the condominium. Elaine embarrasses herself when she takes muscle relaxants after sleeping on the Seinfeld's pull-out couch. ...."Stella!".

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21 THE DOG
Air Date: 10/9/91

Jerry is cornered into caring for the dog of a man on a plane when the man is removed from a plane because of a medical emergency. The dog proves to be an absolute terror. Jerry watches the dog, leaving George & Elaine alone together, they find they have little to say to each other without their conversational third, Jerry.



22 THE LIBRARY
Air Date: 10/16/91

Jerry is informed by the library that he has an overdue book from 1971. Kramer figures that, at a rate of five cents a day, the fine now amounts to $50,000. The library's investigating officer does not like Jerry's attitude. Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense against the library cop. George thinks the homeless man he'd seen outside the library is a former gym high school gym teacher that he got fired. Kramer has his eye on one of the librarians. Elaine worries about her career when her boss hates the recommendations she makes.



23 THE PARKING GARAGE
Air Date: 10/30/91

Jerry, Elaine, George, & Kramer can't remember where they left Kramer's car in the enormous parking lot of a shopping mall in New Jersey. Jerry & George are arrested for urinating in public.



24 THE CAFE
Air Date: 11/6/91

From his apartment window, Jerry spies a little cafe that does not seem to be doing any business. Jerry feels sorry for the Pakistani owner & offers him some advice. George concocts a scheme to have Elaine take an IQ test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's ex-boyfriend's jacket, because he meets many women with it.



25 THE TAPE
Air Date: 11/13/91

Kramer tries to record signs of growth with his new video camera. George is excited about a new potential baldness cure that was discovered in China. While listening to a tape of his previous nights show, Jerry hears the voice of a mysterious woman who talks dirty into his tape recorder & everyone becomes excited by the voice. Elaine shines in an entirely new light for George when he is let in on the her secret, she's the voice. He is later driven crazy when she plays around with him while goofing around in front of Kramer's new video camera. George tries the bald cure. Kramer is in search of the jacket.



26 THE NOSE JOB
Air Date: 11/20/91

George is having problems dating a woman because he dislikes her enormous nose. After they break up, she gets a nose job & the surgically-corrected Audrey starts dating Kramer. Jerry attempts to overcome his lust for an actress whose intelligence leaves much to be desired.



27 THE STRANDED
Air Date: 11/27/91

Jerry & Elaine go to a party with George, while there they send signals to each other to get out of bad party conversations. Jerry & Elaine are left without a ride home when George gets lucky at the party. The party's host, who stayed up with the pair during their wait, shows up at Jerry's apartment & gets drunk with Kramer. Later George pays the price for his romance in the workplace (he must quit) George's plan to get revenge on a drugstore clerk backfires when he is caught shoplifting.

NOTE: This episode was originally going to be broadcast during the second season on July 17 1991. Jerry comes on before the broadcast of this episode & explains that it is from the time before George lost his job & he wanted to"let you know, that we know, you know."



28 THE ALTERNATE SIDE
Air Date: 12/4/91

George fills in for Sid & moves parked cars from one side of the street to the other for residents trying to avoid parking tickets. George learns that the job is harder than it first appeared. When Elaine's older boyfriend suffers a stroke, the paramedics have trouble reaching him because of the confusion created by George's parking mishaps. Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film, but gets fired after one take.



29 THE RED DOT
Air Date: 12/11/91

Jerry is the unwitting cause of Elaine's boyfriend falling off the wagon. Elaine helps George get a job at her publishing company. To show his appreciation, he buys Elaine a sweater that has been marked- down because of a tiny red spot. When George presents the gift to Elaine, he hopes she will not notice the defect. Elaine gives it back, then George gives it to the cleaning woman, to keep her quiet about the fact they had sex on his desk. George is eventually fired from his job.



30 THE SUBWAY
Air Date: 1/8/92

Jerry, Elaine, George, & Kramer each take the subway: Jerry befriends a fat naked man with whom he spends the day at Coney Island; Elaine gets stuck on a stalled subway on her way to a lesbian wedding; George meets a beautiful con artist who takes him to a hotel, chains him to the bed, & robs him; & Kramer overhears a tip on a sure bet at the races, wins $18,000, & is chased by a shady figure.

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31 THE PEZ DISPENSER
Air Date: 1/15/92

Jerry brings a pez dispenser to a piano concert at which George's girlfriend, Noel, is performing. When Jerry puts the toy on Elaine's leg, she bursts out laughing & leaves the theater. Noel is distraught that someone disrupted the recital. George decides to break up with her before she can end the relationship.



32 THE SUICIDE
Air Date: 1/29/92

Martin, Jerry's neighbor, tries to kill himself when he thinks his girlfriend, Gina, is coming on to Jerry. While Martin is hospitalized, Gina does make a pass at Jerry. George is warned by a fortuneteller of impending doom. Fearing the worst, George gives his ticket to the Cayman Islands to Kramer. Elaine needs to fast before a x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. Jerry becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake's coffee cake.



33 THE FIX-UP
Air Date: 2/5/92

Elaine & Jerry arrange a blind date between George & Elaine's friend, Cynthia. Expecting it to be a complete failure, they agree to tell each other everything they hear about the date. Tensions rise when they discover that they are each withholding information from the other. There also may be a problem with a defective condom "My boys can swim!".



34, 35 THE BOYFRIEND (one-hour episode)
Air Date: 2/12/92

Jerry meets & becomes friends with Keith Hernandez, but does that mean he must help Keith move? "No!," says Kramer, who traces his & Newman's hate for Hernandez back to when they were allegedly spit on by him; however Jerry supports the "second-spitter theory". Kramer gets Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbors new baby. Meanwhile, George is out of time on his unemployment & he works harder than ever in his scheme to get a 13 week extension.



36 THE LIMO
Air Date: 2/26/92

George's car breaks down on his way to the airport to pick up Jerry. George pretends to be a delayed passenger in order to get a ride in his limousine. While taking the limo they call Elaine & Kramer to join them for an event at Madison Square Garden. When they pick up other people, George & Jerry realize that they are on their way to a Nazi rally & George is the main speaker.



37 THE GOOD SAMARITAN
Air Date: 3/4/92

Jerry sees a hit-&-run accident & catches up with the fugitive driver, an attractive redhead. He is so taken by her beauty that he forgets about the accident & asks her out on a date. When Jerry discovers that the woman she hit is a beautiful blonde, he feels torn. He tries to act as a mediator between the two women with disastrous results. George has an affair with Elaine's friend. Kramer has violent reactions to Mary Hart's voice.



38 THE LETTER
Air Date: 3/25/92

Jerry is dating an artist, who is painting a portrait of Kramer. When she gives Elaine, George, & Kramer tickets to a Yankee game, Elaine lies to her boss to avoid going to his son's circumcision. They get ejected from the seats in the owner's box because Elaine refuses to take off her Orioles cap. A photograph of the incident appears in the paper, & Elaine is afraid that her boss will see it. Jerry finds out his new girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter, on television.



39 THE PARKING SPACE
Air Date: 4/22/92

George has a day-long argument with Kramer's friend, Mike, over a great parking spot in front of Jerry's building. Elaine, Jerry, Newman, police, & passers-by argue over proper parking technique. Jerry is skeptical of Elaine's explanation of why it is not her fault that his car was damaged. Kramer tells Jerry about something his friend Mike said about Jerry being "a phony."



40 THE KEYS Season finale
Air Date: 5/6/92

Jerry takes away his spare set of keys from Kramer after he abuses his entrance privileges. This causes a series of key exchanges among Kramer, Elaine, & George. Realizing that he has broken the "covenant of the keys" gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of the shadows. Jerry gave his spare keys to Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes with George(who has her keys) to Elaine's to search for his spare set. What they find is Elaine's show-biz project. Kramer takes off for California to follow his acting dream & lands a job on "Murphy Brown."

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41 THE TRIP, I
Air Date: 8/12/92

Jerry is scheduled to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" & agrees to take George with him to Los Angeles. They hope to find Kramer, who disappeared several months ago & was last seen acting in the sitcom "Murphy Brown". While trying to audition, Kramer must deal with the advances of an older female landlord & get Hollywood to read his treatment. Jerry loses some jokes & George tries to get Lupe, the housemaid, to make his bed just right. George annoys all the stars they encounter. He & Jerry are unaware that Kramer is in danger because he has been mistaken for the "Smog Strangler", a serial-killer.



42 THE TRIP, II
Air Date: 8/19/92

Kramer has been incarcerated due to a case of mistaken identity, & George & Jerry bail him out. In the process, they inadvertently allow the real serial killer to escape from the back of a police car. George & Jerry try to convince Kramer to return to NewYork.



43 THE PITCH
Air Date: 9/16/92

[The Pitch & The Ticket were originally aired together as a one-hour episode]

NBC executives approach Jerry about creating a television show. George suggests that he & Jerry develop a show about "nothing." George gets a date with one of the executives, &, much to his dismay, Kramer vomits on her jacket after drinking spoiled milk. Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, later Newman gets a ticket. The helmet saves Kramer from an attack by "Crazy" Joe. While all this is going on Elaine is in Europe with her shrink. Jerry throws out a watch his parents gave him, then meets his Uncle Leo. Kramer agrees to be an excuse for Newman's trial on a speeding ticket.



44 THE TICKET
Air Date: 9/16/92

Kramer becomes confused after he is hit on the head by a psychotic writer named Joe Davola. When he is put on a witness stand as part of Newman's defense against a speeding ticket, Kramer fades in & out of lucidity, causing Newman to lose his case. NBC decides to order a pilot script for Jerry & George's show. George is upset about the amount of money he will make as a writer.



45 THE WALLET
Air Date: 9/23/92

Jerry's parents come to New York so that his father can visit a back specialist. At the doctor's office, Jerry's father realizes that his wallet is gone. Jerry lies to his parents about a watch that they gave him which he threw away. The watch turns up on the wrist of Jerry's garbage-picking Uncle Leo. In an attempt to break up with her psychiatrist boyfriend, Elaine tells him she is dating Kramer & then meets "Crazy" Joe.



46 THE WATCH
Air Date: 9/30/92

George goes to the NBC president's home to get him to try to reinstate NBC's offer. He lowers his demands until the president finally agrees. Jerry ransoms his watch from Uncle Leo for a princely sum, but Jerry's father learns that Jerry lied about the watch. Jerry purchases a replacement wallet for his father & secretly puts four hundred dollars in it. When Jerry's father sees the wallet has a Velcro zipper, he throws it away. Once again, Uncle Leo goes trash diving & comes up with the wallet & the $400!



47 THE BUBBLE BOY
Air Date: 10/7/92

Jerry is spotted at a restaurant & asked to visit a boy who lives inside a plastic bubble. Jerry, Elaine, George, & his girlfriend, Susan, are supposed to spend the weekend at Susan's father's cabin. Since the cabin is near the boy's home, Jerry agrees to stop by. Arriving early, George quarrels with the bubbleboy while playing Trivia Pursuit, almost killing him. Kramer & Jerry's girlfriend go swimming near the cabin while they wait for the others. He leaves a cigar burning that sets the cabin on fire.



48 THE CHEEVER LETTERS
Air Date: 10/28/92

Jerry & George begin to work on the pilot for the series they pitched to NBC. Susan & George must tell her father that his cabin burned down. The insurance appraiser finds a box of love letters written to Susan's father by the author John Cheever. Elaine's secretary, Sandra, quits her job because she thinks Jerry does not like her. To ease his guilt, Jerry goes on a date with Sandra. She makes obscene bedroom comments, but is insulted by his reply. . Kramer goes to the Cuban Embassy in search of cigars.

NOTE: Warren Frost & Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch & Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member joins Grace & Warren in an appearance in episode #119.



49 THE OPERA
Air Date: 11/4/92

"Crazy" Joe leaves Jerry a message saying he will put the "kibosh" on him for failure of a deal with NBC. Elaine plans to invite Joe to the opera until she discovers that he is crazy. While they wait for the others, Jerry & Elaine realize that her Joe is the same lunatic who is after Jerry. Joe shows up at the opera dressed as the clown from " I Pagliacci"; & buys a ticket from Kramer & George. He ends up sitting next to Jerry & Elaine, who make a quick exit



50 THE VIRGIN
Air Date: 11/11/92

Jerry encounters an old girlfriend & finds out that she is still a virgin. Since there seems to be some chemistry between them, she asks Elaine for sexual advice. George concludes that his new writing job will help him pick up women, but he is upset when he realizes that he cannot cheat on Susan without losing his job. His problems are over, however, when she is fired after he kisses her during a meeting. Elaine runs into a Chinese delivery boy.

NOTE: Following the broadcast of this episode Michael Richards played Kramer on a show called Mad About You. It starred Paul Reiser & Helen Hunt. In the episode called The Apartment, Reiser must get rid of his old apartment, which it seems Kramer has been subletting from him.

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51 THE CONTEST
Air Date: 11/18/92

George's mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching him doing "you know." When George says he'll never do it again the four friends place a bet on who can last the longest without "pleasuring" themselves. The challenge becomes more daunting as each of them is confronted with tempting situations: Kramer spies on a naked neighbor; George visits his mother's hospital room often to watch her pretty roommate get a sponge bath; Jerry's virginal girlfriend considers sleeping with him; & Elaine stands behind JFK Jr. during an aerobics class.

NOTE: Tom Cherones won the Directors Guild of America Award for this episode.



52 THE AIRPORT
Air Date: 11/25/92

When their flight home gets canceled, Jerry & Elaine get on another flight, Elaine gets cramped into coach & Jerry parties in 1st class with a model. George & Kramer go between JFK & La Guardia to pick them up. When they settle on an airport George taunts a criminal who is being transported by the authorities. Kramer sees a man who owes him $240 from years ago.



53 THE PICK
Air Date: 12/16/92

Elaine agrees to let Kramer take a photograph of her for her Christmas cards. She is humiliated when she sends out the cards without realizing that her nipple is exposed. Kramer feels that Calvin Klein has stolen his idea for a perfume scent. When he meets with Klein, he is asked to model an underwear line. Jerry is afraid that his model friend Tia isn't calling him because she thinks that she caught him picking his nose. George tries to reunite with Susan, but realizes it's a mistake, & uses "The Pick".



54 THE MOVIE
Air Date: 1/6/93

Jerry tries to make two show dates & go to the movie theater to meet everyone. George gets in the wrong line for tickets. George, Elaine & Kramer decide to go another theater to see the movie. Kramer waits outside for Jerry but also wants a hot dog. Jerry misses his first show, then goes to movie theater to tell everyone he won't make the movie, but no one is there. Through a comedy of errors, everyone (but Kramer) misses the movie, they were originally going to see.



55 THE VISA
Air Date: 1/27/93

George meets a Chinese female lawyer who thinks he is real funny; so he tells Jerry not to be funny around her, but she becomes attracted to Jerry's "darkness". An important visa form belonging to Babu Baht, an immigrant friend, gets mixed in with Jerry's mail causing Babu to be arrested for not renewing his visa. Jerry tries to get a lawyer to help Babu, but George's honesty when his relationship is threatened causes Babu to be deported & Elaine to still be sued by the delivery boy she hit. Kramer comes back sooner than expected from an adult baseball camp after accidentally slugging Mickey Mantle.



56 THE SHOES
Air Date: 2/4/93

Jerry & George are treading water trying to keep their sinking television idea afloat, one of their problems is they don't know how to do the Elaine character. Jerry meets an old girlfriend he never got to kiss, later Kramer gets the opportunity. The ex-girlfriend talks about Elaine's shoes, mainly because she wants them. Jerry & George are further troubled when they meet with the NBC president, who catches them spying his teenage daughter's cleavage. Elaine rescues them by showing off her own cleavage to the executive.



57 THE OUTING
Air Date: 2/11/93

When Elaine realizes that a woman is eavesdropping on her conversation with Jerry & George, she jokingly asks them about their plans to confess their homosexuality. The woman is a reporter who writes a story about Jerry & George's alleged sexual preferences. Things really get out of hand when the article is picked up by the New York Post. George tries to use the mis-understanding to break off a relationship, but his girlfriend does not buy it.



58 THE OLD MAN
Air Date: 2/18/93

Jerry, Elaine, & George volunteer to visit with elderly people. George causes an elderly man to suffer depression. Elaine can barely look at her friend because of the woman's absurdly enlarged goiter. Kramer & Newman try the business of selling old records to a used record store. Jerry gets assigned to a cantankerous old man & loses track of him when they try to take him to the dentist to repair his dentures, after the man had bitten Kramer's arm.



59 THE IMPLANT
Air Date: 2/25/93

Jerry is dating Sidrah, whom Elaine believes has breast implants. When Elaine informs Jerry he decides to break up with her. Elaine accidentally touches Sidrah's breasts in the sauna & realizes that they are real. George tries to get closer to his new girlfriend by escorting her to her aunt's memorial service in Detroit. While there he tries to get a copy of her death certificate so he can get a 50% discount on the airfare.



60 THE JUNIOR MINT
Air Date: 3/18/93

Jerry has a date with a woman whose Name he has forgotten, but it "rhymes with a female body part." Elaine's ex-boyfriend, an artist, is in the hospital about to have surgery. While Jerry & Kramer observe the surgery, Kramer accidentally drops a junior mint into his open body cavity. When the artist has difficulty recovering, George purchases some of his art, expecting its value to increase if he dies.

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61 THE SMELLY CAR
Air Date: 4/15/93

A valet driving Jerry's car leaves behind a terrible stench of body odor. The smell lingers in the car, clinging to everyone riding in it. Jerry is forced to try to sell the car. Elaine smells so bad that her boyfriend (Nick Bakay) refuses to see her. George learns that his ex-girlfriend, Susan, has become a lesbian. Susan's newfound sexual identity is irresistible to George. Susan's girlfriend is swayed to heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned-off by a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car can't be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it & the keys out on the street.



62 THE HANDICAP SPOT
Air Date: 5/13/93

Jerry, Elaine, George, & Kramer stop at a mall on their way to an engagement party to pick up a gift for "The Drake". Despite everyone's protests, George parks the car in a spot reserved for disabled drivers after taking Kramer's advice. When they return, they discover that George's choice of parking caused a disabled woman to become seriously hurt. An irate crowd gathers to find out who is responsible for her accident. While visiting the woman at the hospital, Kramer falls in love & feels compelled to replace the wheelchair. George becomes his father's butler after his father gets arrested for parking in the spot.



63, 64 THE PILOT Season finale
Air Date: 5/20/93

Jerry & George are given permission by the network to begin production on their television pilot titled Jerry. Jerry gets to portray himself, but George is unhappy with the actor who plays him. Kramer shows up to audition for the part of himself but must leave when nature calls. George accuses the actor portraying Kramer of stealing a box of raisins. George thinks he has cancer because of a white blemish that appears under his lip. Elaine objects to the new coffee-shop owner only hiring buxom waitresses. At the taping of the pilot, Elaine sneaks in disguised & "Crazy" Joe jumps out of the audience. Kramer is forced to work on his plumbing by using the "dreaded apparatus." Everyone from the past season comments on the pilot as it's broadcast. Russell Dalrimple is lost at sea after taking Elaine's advice to join Greenpeace.

NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The major characters from the past season who comment on the pilot were not credited for this episode.



65 THE MANGO
Air Date: 9/16/93

Elaine admits that she faked orgasms when she was involved with Jerry, & Jerry begs her for another opportunity to satisfy her. George is afraid that the woman he is dating also fakes orgasm. Kramer tries returning a poor-quality peach to the fruit stand & is banished him from the store.



66 THE PUFFY SHIRT
Air Date: 9/23/93

When Kramer & his soft-spoken girlfriend go out to dinner with Elaine & Jerry, Jerry unwittingly agrees to wear a puffy shirt that she designed on "The Today Show." The shirt is so ridiculous that Bryant Gumble makes disparaging comments about it on the air. George is forced to move in with his parents & gets a job as a hand model & he becomes obsessed with keeping his hands safe.



67 THE GLASSES
Air Date: 9/30/93

George misplaces his eyeglasses while at the gym & asks Elaine & Jerry to help him buy a new pair. The trip to the optometrist becomes a disaster when Elaine is bitten by a dog that she fears is rabid. George tries to get a discount by mentioning Kramer's Name, but the optometrist refuses vehemently. George thinks he sees Jerry's cousin, Jeffrey, kissing Jerry's girlfriend. It turns out to be a horse.



68 THE SNIFFING ACCOUNTANT
Air Date: 10/7/93

Jerry sees his accountant at the diner & becomes suspicious of his constant sniffing so Jerry, Kramer & Newman set out to find out the truth. George tries to become a ladies undergarment salesman after his father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Elaine dumps her writer boyfriend because his punctuation(exclamation points) is not lively enough.



69 THE BRIS
Air Date: 10/14/93

Jerry & Elaine are asked to be the godparents of Myra & Stan's baby. When Elaine hires an unsteady moil, he accidentally cuts Jerry's hand while circumcising the child. A man commits suicide by leaping from the hospital & lands on George's car. George attempts to have the hospital reimburse him for the damages. Kramer tries to liberate a man whom he believes had been genetically crossed with a pig in an evil scientific experiment.



70 THE LIP READER
Air Date: 10/28/93

Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the U.S. Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading the lips, Kramer misreads the translation, which gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis.

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71 THE NON-FAT YOGURT
Air Date: 11/4/93

Jerry & Elaine think the yogurt at Kramer's friend's store is too good to be fat-free, so they take it to a lab to be analyzed where it is accidentally mixed in with mayoral challenger Guiliani's blood sample. While at the yogurt store, Jerry accidentally uses the "F" word which a young boy (Matthew) overhears & he begins to repeat the vulgarity to his mother's displeasure. The lab determines that the yogurt is not fat free & Guiliani uses this information as a campaign issue, winning the election. Elaine tells her boyfriend, Lloyd, who works for Mayor Dinkins, of George's idea that all New Yorkers wear a Name tag. This suggestion causes Lloyd to lose his job.



72 THE BARBER
Air Date: 11/11/93

After getting a bad haircut from his barber Enzo, Jerry secretly arranges for Enzo's cousin, Gino, to repair it. Enzo is suspicious that Jerry is having his hair cut by someone else, so he hires Newman to steal a piece of Jerry's hair. George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not,so he decides to go into the office & act like an employee while the boss is on vacation.



73 THE MASSEUSE
Air Date: 11/18/93

Jerry dates Jodi, a masseuse, who refuses to give him a massage. His frustration increases when he discovers that she is massaging Kramer. George goes on a double date with Jerry & Jodi only to find out that Jodi cannot stand him. Unable to cope with the idea that someone does not like him, George is determined to change Jodi's opinion of him. Elaine dates a man who would be perfect for her if he did not share a Name with a notorious criminal.



74 THE CIGAR STORE INDIAN
Air Date: 12/9/93

Jerry tries to impress Elaine & her friend, Winona, with a thoughtful gift: an antique statue of a cigar store Indian. Winona, who is Native American, is deeply offended. George gets intimate with a woman on his parents' bed & accidentally leaves behind a condom wrapper. Elaine takes one of George's father's TV Guides, reads it on the subway, & then discards it. An obsessive TV Guide collector tries to return it to her. Kramer sells his idea for making a coffee table book about coffee tables to Elaine's company.



75 THE CONVERSION
Air Date: 12/16/93

Jerry is interested in his neighbor, Tawni, until he finds a fungus medication in her bathroom. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend whose a podiatrist. George wants to convert to the Latvian Orthodox religion to maintain his latest relationship. Kramer unwittingly entrances a Latvian nun-in- training who wants to leave the church to be with him. Consequently, he seeks help for the unusual power he has over women



76 THE STALL
Air Date: 1/6/94

Elaine runs out of tissue paper in a public restroom & requests some from the woman in the adjacent stall. When the woman, whom Jerry is dating, refuses, she & Elaine get into an argument. Elaine's boyfriend, Tony, is an adventurer, who holds no appeal for her other than his rugged good looks. When Tony's face is injured in a fall, Elaine has to decide whether or not she will continue to see him. Kramer suspects that Jerry's girlfriend is the same woman with whom he has phone sex.



77 THE DINNER PARTY
Air Date: 2/3/94

The four friends stop on their way to a dinner party to buy cake & wine. Elaine & Jerry get into a fight with a couple on line at the bakery, only to learn that they will be at the same party. George & Kramer run into a series of difficulties trying to purchase wine, culminating in George's breaking a shelf of bottles. When they return to their car, a man who appears to be Saddam Hussein has blocked them in.



78 THE MARINE BIOLOGIST
Air Date: 2/10/94

Jerry bumps into an old classmate who asks about George. Sensitive to George's string of bad luck, Jerry impulsively tells the woman that George is a marine biologist, & she is impressed. Kramer struggles with his golf swing & sand. When George & the woman are at the beach on a date, a marine biologists needed to help rescue a beached whale. Elaine gets to work with the acclaimed Russian writer, Yuri Testikov, who throws her electronic organizer out the window, hitting a passer- by.



79 THE PIE
Air Date: 2/17/94

Jerry can't believe that his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine & she wants to know where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise.



80 THE STAND-IN
Air Date: 2/24/94

Kramer talks his stand-in friend, one of the "little people" into getting lifts, to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, whose in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George & his latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won't when he finds out she is being to urged to break it off. One of Jerry's friends "takes it out" while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again.

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81 THE WIFE
Air Date: 3/17/94

A girlfriend(Courtney Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom & is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents.



82, 83 THE RAINCOATS
Air Date: 3/28/94

Jerry's parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris & he's just returned from three weeks on the road can't get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfeld's avoid the Costanza's dinner invitation. Elaine's latest boyfriend(the "close-talker") becomes unusually fixated on Jerry's parents & shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry's father to sell belt-less raincoats to a second hand shop & George sells his father's moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan a cruise. Eventually, Jerry & his girlfriend go to a movie together, "Schindler's List", they don't see it because they make-out during the movie, but Newman sees it & them. NOTE: Originally broadcast as a 60 min episode.



84 THE FIRE
Air Date: 5/5/94

Kramer is dating one of Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment, during her son's birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto the street & loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a bus to the hospital & saves the passengers from a gun man. Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice.



85 THE HAMPTONS
Air Date: 5/12/94

Jerry & the gang go to the Hamptons for the weekend to see their friend's baby. George gets upset when he realizes that his date went topless on the beach. In exchange for Jerry having seen her breasts, George wants to see Jerry's date naked. Instead, Rachel walks in on George undressing after a swim, & she witnesses his post-swim "shrinkage". Jerry & Elaine are shocked to discover how ugly the baby is, & Elaine becomes especially confused when the handsome Dr. Pfeiffer describes both her & the baby as "breathtaking." Kramer finds a filled lobster trap.



86 THE OPPOSITE Season finale
Air Date: 5/19/94

To change his lifelong bad luck, George determines to do everything the opposite. As a result, he winds up dating a fabulous woman & secures a job with the New York Yankees. Elaine's luck takes a turn for the worse as she gets a promotion, but her Jujy fruit habit causes a chain reaction leading to the demise of her company. Jerry loses a job only to line up another one five minutes later. Kramer appears on "Regis & Kathie Lee" promoting his coffee-table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry & he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven."



87 THE CHAPERONE
Air Date: Sep 22, 94

Jerry dates Miss Rhode Island; Kramer tries to help her in the pageant; but Jerry ends up killing all her pigeons. Elaine gets new job with Mr Pitt & George gets the idea of cotton uniforms for the Yankees.



88 THE BIG SALAD
Air Date: Sep 29, 94

Jerry dates Newman's ex. George buys Elaine a big salad from the coffee shop, when his girlfriend takes credit for buying it, George lets Elaine know that it was him that bought that salad. Show ends with Kramer driving Gendison's white Ford Bronco down the interstate (ala OJ ) .



89 THE PLEDGE DRIVE
Air Date: Oct 06, 94

Elaine's friend Noreen dates a high-talker; Jerry volunteers to host a pledge drive for PBS Jerry is talked into cashing in birthday checks from is Grandma.



90 THE CHINESE WOMAN
Air Date: Oct 13, 94

When George & Ms. Changs telephone lines get crossed, Jerry makes a date with Ms. Chang thinking that she is a Chinese women. He later finds out that she is white. George's parents get a divorce. Noreen dates a long-talker. Kramer finds out he has a low sperm count.

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91 THE COUCH
Air Date: Oct 27, 94

Jerry gets a new couch, which Pappi pees on. Elaine refuses to eat at Pappi's due to his stand on abortion. Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch but breaks up after finding out his stand on abortion.



92 THE GYMNAST
Air Date: Nov 03, 94

Kramer invests in computer generated 3-d art. Elaine must substitute for Mr. Pitt in a merger deal, regarding "Moland Springs"; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash. Jerry dates a '84 Romanian Olympic medalist. Kramer passes a kidney stone at the Circus. Mr Pitt ends up resembling Hitler at the end.



93 THE SOUP
Air Date: Nov 10, 94

Jerry gets free suit, but then has to take Banion out to dinner; George asks out the waitress, who becomes disinterested when he mentions manure. Elaine dates an Englishman.



94 THE MOM & POP STORE
Air Date: Nov 17, 94

George buys a car who he thinks is Jon Voight's; Kramer runs into Jon Voight & Voight bites him. Jerry crashes a party during The Thanksgiving-Day Parade at which Kramer & George try to match the teeth marks on Kramer's arm to those on a pencil found in the car.



95 THE SECRETARY
Air Date: Dec 08, 94

George hires a rather homely secretary; but ends up making out with her. Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes; Kramer sells the clothes off his back to Banion. Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone number. Elaine is convinced the department store has "skinny mirrors".



96 THE RACE
Air Date: Dec 15, 94

Kramer gets job as Santa; Jerry dates woman named Lois; Jerry must defend his high school speed legend in a race. Elaine goes out with a "Commie".



97 THE SWITCH
Air Date: Jan 05, 95

Kramer's first Name is finally revealed[COSMO]; Jerry tries the roommate switch with George's help. Elaine lends Mr Pitt's tennis racket to a lady with whom she has a job interview & tries to sneak into her office to get it back for Mr Pitt..



98 THE LABEL MAKER
Air Date: Jan 19, 95

Jerry & Elaine think that Tim Whattly (the dentist) is a "re-gifter" after Jerry gets the same label maker that Elaine gave to Tim. George dates woman with male roommate [menogeatrios]; Jerry gives & tries to get back his Superbowl tickets. Kramer & Newman play RISK...



99 THE SCOFFLAW
Air Date: Jan 26, 95

Newman has many unpaid parking tickets; guy(John Lovitz) fakes cancer to get sympathy; George gets a hairpiece.



SPECIAL - HIGHLIGHTS FROM 100 SHOWS (1-hour special)
Air Date: Feb 02, 95

Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a "show about nothing."



100 THE BEARD
Air Date: Feb 09, 95

Elaine tries to convert a gay man after becoming attracted to him; Jerry dates a policewoman & finally admits to watching Melrose Place after taking a lie detector test. George, with his toupee, goes out with a bald woman.

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101 THE KISS HELLO
Air Date: Feb 16, 95

Elaine's doctor-friend Wendy has bad hair & they want Kramer to tell her. Jerry vows to stop the "kiss hello" with Wendy. In order to make Jerry's apartment more friendly, Kramer posts everyone's' Name & picture in the apartment lobby. Jerry hates this idea as everyone would kiss him on the cheek as they would say hello



102 THE DOORMAN
Air Date: Feb 23, 95

Jerry agrees to take over the doorman's job at Mr. Pitt's apartment. When the doorman does not come back, Jerry just leaves & a couch is stolen, but he can be tracked because he signed for a package while "on duty". Kramer gets idea for male bra from George's father.



103 THE JIMMY
Air Date: Mar 16, 95

Jimmy refers to himself in the third person, confusing Elaine, causing her to agree to go on a date with him. Kramer is mistakenly assumed to be mentally challenged after he comes back from the dentist under the influence of Novocain, & later is given a swollen lip by Jimmy. Kramer tells Jerry that the Dentist has copies of PENTHOUSE in his waiting room. By the end of the show, both Elaine & George are referring to themselves in the third person.



104 THE DOODLE
Air Date: Apr 06, 95

Jerry has fleas, we find out who "the chunky" is that gave Jerry fleas after Elaine goes into Jerry's fumigated apartment looking for a manuscript. George finds a new girlfriend, he likes her until he finds out that she does not care what he looks like. He later changes his mind when she lets him walk around as "the velvet fog". Kramer loves macinaw peaches, but looses his taste after getting fumigated. Jerry's parents stay in, & trash a hotel room that Elaine is supposed to be staying in.



105 THE FUSILLI JERRY
Air Date: Apr. 27, 95

Kramer makes a "Pasta Jerry" out of FUSILLI pasta. Jerry tells his mechanic about "The Move" & he then uses it on Elaine. George wants a new move after no success with his move. Kramer gets license plates that read ASSMAN. Mr Castanza must go to a proctologist after falling on the "FUSILLI Jerry".



106 THE DIPLOMAT'S CLUB
Air Date: May 4, 95

Elaine wants to quit her job with Mr Pitt. Mr. Pitt puts Elaine in his will & then gets sick (because of wrong advise from Jerry about prescription drugs) & is on the verge of dying. Elaine & Jerry are accused of plotting to kill him. Kramer starts-up his betting habit again at the airport wagering on the arrival/departure times of flights & is bailed out by Newman. Jerry tries to get back in time to go out with a model but he angers the pilot (during his comedy show), gets kicked off the plane, & must drive back to the City making him late. George tries to find a black friend.



107 THE FACE PAINTER
Air Date: May 11, 95

Elaine dates a "face painter" Kramer gets into trouble with a monkey. George contemplates telling his girlfriend that he loves her.



108 THE UNDERSTUDY Season Finale
Air Date: May 18, 95

Jerry has trouble deciding when he should comfort his girlfriend who also happens to be Bette Midler's understudy in the musical version of Rochel Rochel. During a softball game George injures Bette Midler at home plate & Jerry & George are accused of taking-out Bette on purpose just to get Jerry's girlfriend a starring role in the musical. Elaine gets a job for a clothing catalog. Kramer nurses Bette back to health. Elaine takes Frank Costanza along with her to the manicurist to translate for her & Frank meets & old girlfriend . She dumps Frank after he "stops short" on her.



109 THE ENGAGEMENT
Air Date: Sept. 21,95

Jerry & George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, & after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) & Elaine commit a dog napping & take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep.



110 THE POSTPONEMENT
Air Date: Sep 28, 95

Elaine's dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer's involvement in the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record. Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn't "concerned" with George's intentions, but is really jealous that he's the first of the group to get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry & anyone else who'll listen. Kramer & Jerry try to see Plan 9 From Outer Space; however, Kramer "tries" to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it & his lawyer says he has a case.

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111 THE MAESTRO
Air Date: Oct 05, 95

George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan & decides that he needs to help a security guard that works at her uncle's store. Kramer's friend "Maestro", makes a comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the "Maestro." Kramer's out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him "hopped up on the caffeine." Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany & is referred to Poppy's cousin, who makes him an offer he can't refuse.



112 THE WINK
Air Date: Oct 12, 95

Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; however, he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry's healthy breakfast, gets into George's eye & causes problems for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry's healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine's cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O'Neill will hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George's wink.



113 THE HOT TUB
Air Date: Oct 19, 95

Jerry tries to help Elaine's runner friend make it to the marathon on time; Kramer gets a hot tub & it ends up blowing the fuses. Without power, Jerry's alarm clock doesn't go off & the runner is practically late for the race. George meets with some "bastards" from TX.



114 THE SOUP NAZI
Air Date: Nov 02, 95

While on their way to the "soup place" Elaine finds an antique cabinet she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the "Soup Nazi." Elaine isn't allowed to move her cabinet into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George & Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry's sweet talking with his current girlfriend. Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the "Soup Nazi," gets on his bad side & is banned for a year. In broad daylight & in Kramer's presence, two guys come along & take the cabinet. Kramer relates the story of the cabinet to the "Soup Nazi," who says he has a cabinet in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry's girlfriend makes a faux pas in the "soup place" & Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry & reminds him about their pact. George & Susan see Jerry & his girlfriend at the diner & they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the cabinet & tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the "Soup Nazi" but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the cabinet contains the "Soup Nazi's" recipes & Elaine takes them for the final confrontation.



115 THE SECRET CODE
Air Date: - Nov 09, 95

George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party & talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner & decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry & George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night & tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation.



116 THE POOL GUY
Air Date: Nov 16, 95

Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit & realizes that she has no female friends, Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move & that George's worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, then he can't get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry's idea. Kramer's new phone number is similar to a film information line. He keeps getting wrong numbers, so he begins giving out the information.

NOTE: This episode was dedicated as follows: In memory of our friend Rick Bolden.



117 THE SPONGE
Air Date: 12-7-95

Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decided whether her current boyfriend is worthy. George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans & that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets a now he's "out of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won't "wear the ribbon."



118 THE GUM
Air Date: 12-14-95

Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum, that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him & meets a former neighbor (who's had a breakdown) & his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse & reveals herself to Lloyd & Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George's car, once owned by "Jon Voight" ( see episode #94 ), catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he's not crazy.

NOTE: Writer/executive producer Larry David makes an uncredited cameo as a guy who sells George a pack of gum.



119 THE RYE
Air Date: 1-4-96

Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who's sponge-worthy but "he doesn't really like to do everything." Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist & Elaine are "hot & heavy." Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of "Beef-A-Reeno.". Susan's parents meet & have dinner with the Costanzas for the first time. Both families obsess over a loaf of rye bread that wasn't served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine's boyfriend writes a song about "their relationship," which later has a big impact on his career. Kramer takes over a friend's horse-drawn carriage for a week & helps George out with his scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of "Beef-A-Reeno" right before giving the Ross's their ride.

NOTE: As stated in episode #048 Warren Frost & Grace Zabriskie both appeared on David Lynch & Mark Frost's series Twin Peaks. Another Twin Peaks cast member, Frances Bay also appears in this episode. Coincidence?



120 THE CADDY
Air Date: 1-25-96

Kramer befriends a caddy, who helps him to improve his golf game & offer his other advice. George's bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that he is there in the morning before everyone else & still there after they all leave. They don't know that he's just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he & Susan go up north to her parent's rebuilt cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who's heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune & has never worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top & cause Kramer & Jerry to have an accident with George's car. With George's damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he's dead. Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza's. Kramer & Elaine take her rival to court & only Jerry may stand in the way.

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121 THE SEVEN
Air Date: 2-1-96

Elaine sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day & wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses to Name her baby with the Name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another . Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out.



122, 123 THE CADILLAC (one-hour episode)
Air Date: 2-8-96

Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well. Kramer who now knows about what Jerry makes says it will change their relationship. It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine; she's interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when one of Elaine's friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar winning actress, Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer & he takes the opportunity to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine's friend is in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for his new Cadillac. Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George's obsession with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida & tells him she wants to come & join him. Elaine gets George Marisa's phone number & now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her "boyfriend" Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty's ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is the woman Jerry stole the marble rye from, but she doesn't remember him, at least at first. The cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George's meeting with Marisa doesn't go as well as planned & Susan thinks he's having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes defeat.



124 THE SHOWER HEAD
Air Date: 2-15-96

Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry parent's are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida, that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction(poppy seeds) & finds a donor(Mrs Seinfeld) for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo & he pays the price for making fun of the family.



125 THE DOLL
Air Date: Feb 23, 1996

Susan's old roommate from college, Sally, gives Jerry a package she wants him to be careful with; which he is, but loses his package in the process. Frank tells George he is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who looks just like him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind. Kramer challenges him to a game where the space is a bit tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which he is convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks uncannily like George's mother; she doesn't believe it, but he does & it affects his performance. Jerry is going to be on Charles Grodin's show with one of the Three Tenors, not Pavarotti or Domingo, but "the other guy." Elaine goes with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of "the other guy," for "the Maestro" that was damaged while they were in Tuscany. "The Maestro" provides a new fashion for Kramer & Frank while playing pool, & his baton is an answer to the space problem in the billiard room. Susan's roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing him back a better barbecue sauce & bringing a doll to the studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier than the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance.



126 THE FRIARS CLUB
Air Date: March 7, 96

George is happy because he has a three month reprieve. The wedding is delayed until June (just in time for the end of the May sweeps & a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also excited because Jerry is going to go out with Susan's best friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as being "Gatsby"-like. Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a jacket he "borrowed" for dinner there, at a performance of comedic jugglers that was "worked on" by Susan's friend. Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci & falls asleep at some inopportune moments; one of which puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee & Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded with some of his work. Trying to see how deaf he really is, Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears & tries to help out their budding relationship.



127 THE WIGMASTER
Air Date: April 4, 96

Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. The clerk "hits on" Elaine. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of "Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; but George discovers why the lot is so cheap when he finds a used condom in his car & is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able to trust him & have no doubts. Kramer decides to put his car in the lot. Kramer borrows a pink Cadillac when he can't get his car out. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. Kramer stays at Jerry's apartment. Elaine has a walking stick she lets Kramer have it. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back-up "Electric Color Dreamcoat." Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute out of his borrowed car.



128 THE CALZONE
Air Date: April 25, 96

George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop & he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out.



129 & 130 THE BOTTLE DEPOSIT
Air Date: May 2, 96
(One-hour episode)

Jerry takes his car to a mechanic & is stunned when he steals it. Elaine is sent on Peteman's behalf to bid on a set of golf clubs once owned by JFK. The golf clubs were in Jerry's trunk when his car was stolen. Kramer & Newman come up with a scheme to collect used pop bottles & take them to Michigan where they can get twice as much money for returns. On the way, Kramer spots Jerry's car, dumps all the bottles as well as Newman. Newman gets in trouble with an old farmer who warns Newman to keeps his hands off his daughter.

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131 THE WAIT OUT
Air Date: May 9, 96

After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple, Jerry & Elaine wait in anticipation of their separation. Elaine sporting a new hairstyle, starts driving again & almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight. Elaine & Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. David returns the off-hand remark to George, in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things, he thinks it is his ticket out.



132 THE INVITATIONS (season finale)
Air Date: May 16, 96

As the big day grows nearer, George & Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking & Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry (thinking of a single future with Kramer) nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry's in love with Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank's offer of a $100 if one of their teller's doesn't say hello. Is "Hey," hello? George tries the suggestions & strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan & the gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the news, he's "out".

NOTE: The scenes shot with the real George Steinbrenner for this episode, were cut from the final edit. It is reported that these scenes might be included in an episode, next season.



133 THE FOUNDATION (season premiere)
Air Date: Sept. 19, 96

After Susan's death, George is ready to move on, but her parents want to keep her memory alive by setting up a foundation in her memory. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but much younger. Jerry runs into Dolores ("her name rhymed with a female body part" -see episode #60), she suggests that they get together again. Peterman breaksdown & goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge. Jerry & Dolores get together; however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured. Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration & takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups & the effect on future relationships. George's widower story scores the highest! Kramer's classmates beat him up after class. The Foundation is taking up all of George's time, & while there he discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan.



134 THE SOUL MATE
Air Date: Sept. 26, 96

George believes The Foundation thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method that comedian Jerry Lewis once used to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend & asks Newman for advice. Elaine insists that she'd rather not have a baby, & meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a tape recorder in his brief case at a board meeting & leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged & the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry & Kramer's relationship with Pam, & bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession: Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how serious he is about not having children. The guys find out Pam doesn't want children either & they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase.



135 THE BIZARRO JERRY
Air Date: Oct. 3, 96

Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building & is mistaken for an employe so he starts working there. Elaine sets Jerry up with a beautiful friend, but she has "man hands." George uses a picture of her & passes her off a his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin & two of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George & Kramer. With Kramer working, George busy in the "Forbidden City" & Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone.



136 THE LITTLE KICKS
Air Date: Oct. 10, 96

Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dancing. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film & Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine wonders why her employees have lost respect for her & thinks it might be due to George's influence, so she makes him "off limits" to Anna. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry & Kramer attend the film with Brody, who makes a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick & has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Brody likes Jerry's camera work & asks him to do more films. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna & George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. After Jerry refuses to tape anymore movies for Brody, George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out & Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York



137 THE PACKAGE
Air Date: Oct. 17, 96

Elaine has a rash & looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment & offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package & there is the sound of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package & opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store & gets a surprising result.



138 THE FATIGUES
Air Date: Oct. 31, 96

Jerry is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor. George prepares to give a lecture on risk management by reading a book, but realizes that books-on-tape have spoiled him. Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face with him, she promotes him. Kramer runs a Jewish singles night at Frank's Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his girlfriend's mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so he plans to fail an eye test. Elaine's recently promoted employee has some disturbing new ideas. She plans to promote him again. Kramer's party plans go awry when he has to cook for over 180 people. He needs to get Frank's advice on cooking for the masses, despite George's warning. Elaine's promotional plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry's girlfriend sees Bania's act & loses respect for her mentor. Elaine tries working with her employee. George figures out an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming Bania's mentor. Jerry & his now ex-girlfriend get their files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine & Bania on risk management. Frank's cooking skills are reborn, until he sees someone choking.



139 THE CHECKS
Air Date: Nov. 7, 96

Elaine's new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture & the song "Desperado." Jerry spots an umbrella salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman says it was someone else. Hundreds of twelve cent royalty checks keep arriving from Jerry's brief appearance on a Japanese TV show. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners he hired are actually a religious cult. Intrigued, George tries to be converted, but they're not interestedin him. Kramer meets some Japanese businessman & he takes them out on the town & to the cleaners. Brett delivers a large chest of drawers to Kramer & thinks that Jerry might be jealous. Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry & George did would be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple of Japanese TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that she & Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese friends up at his place. They're sleeping in the chest of drawers. Jerry, caught in the rain, meets the man who claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced Jerry is down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a new recruit. Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer's guests get stuck in the chest. Jerry, with writers cramp from check signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the Japanese guests & injures Brett who passes out. The TV executives, scared from Jerry's actions, turn down the TV pilot. While Mr. Wilhelm shows up to clean the carpets.



140 THE CHICKEN ROASTER
Air Date: Nov. 14, 96

Kenny Rogers' Fried Chicken Restaurant opens in the neighborhood & the large neon chicken sign beams lights-up Kramer's apartment. Jerry meets an old college buddy who he talks into missing an important meeting which, in turn, gets him fired. Elaine abuses Peterman's expense account, including a big hat for George, that he tries leaving at the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to get a second date with her. Elaine tries to justify her expenses to the accounting department & needs the hat. Jerry's college friend becomes "manager" of the chicken place. Kramer & Jerry switch apartments; however, more than just the apartment gets switched! Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny's chicken. Elaine brings George to the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to retrieve the hat. Jerry demands his apartment back when he finds out Kramer is hooked. Elaine goes to Burma in search of Peterman to get her expenses authorized. George keeps scheming to get that second date. Jerry's fake Russian hat has an impact on the chicken business.

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141 THE ABSTINENCE
Air Date: Nov. 21, 96

George's girlfriend has mono & can't have sex with him for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry is bumped at career day at his former junior high school, & then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's & is asked to leave so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry's agent gets him an assembly at the school. George's lack of sex makes him smarter. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. She uses George's technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese & prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie's input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine's boyfriend gets his license & leaves her sexless.



142 THE ANDREA DORIA
Air Date: Dec. 19, 96

George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into, but finds out he can't get it because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." She is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Jerry & Kramer discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. Kramer's has a cold but he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; but he won't since he didn't get transfered to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get cold medicine. Elaine's blind date gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper". George confronts his rival for the apartment & decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her & tells her that she has "a big head." Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication & beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine & she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail, but he's too efficient for the Post Office. Elaine meets up with her blind date & makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day.



143 THE LITTLE JERRY
Air Date: Jan. 9, 97

Everyone comments about a bad check of Jerry's that is on display at Marcelino's store. While visiting a prison, George meets a female convict that he decides to ask out. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster that he names "Little Jerry Seinfeld"; of course he really wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry's parents find out about the check & offer to send money. Elaine finds out her bald boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him to start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs of hair loss. He begins to feel despondent. George's convict girlfriend is up for parole. Kramer enters "Little Jerry" in a cock fight that if he wins, Jerry's bad check will be taken down. George is a character witness for Celia's parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her in. Jerry's bad check doesn't come down, because Marcelino wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-loss advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine. Jerry & Kramer train "Little Jerry" for the big cock fight. George experiences "fugitive sex" when Celia breaks out after her parole was denied. Celia is tracked down & Kurt is mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a ringer in for the big fight; Kramer tries to save "Little Jerry" but pays the price.



144 THE MONEY
Air Date: Jan. 16, 97

Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. Elaine buys George's coffee & he thinks she's sticking it to him. Jerry & George talk about the money their parents might have. This peaks George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habits. Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family's health history. Jerry meets with Klompus & agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George anticipating a big inheritance, begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus wrecks the car & Jerry returns to Florida. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular position at Peterman, with no options. George & Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash & credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer & Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas house. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.



145 THE COMEBACK
Air Date: Jan. 30, 97

George has trouble thinking of a comeback to a comment made by Reilly; he finally thinks of one, but too late. Jerry buys a new tennis racket from a supposed professional. Elaine & Kramer discuss video picks. Elaine prefers picks by Vincent. He prefers picks by Gene or his own. He watches his latest pick & it makes him concerned about spending the rest of his life in a coma. Elaine is intrigued when she receives a phone call from the mysterious Vincent. Jerry discovers that the "tennis pro" is a terrible player. George comes up with what he thinks is the perfect line & will listen to no one else's opinion. Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine as the executor. The tennis pro, fearing he will be exposed, tries to bribe Jerry, including a rendezvous with his wife. Elaine opts for another movie & makes Vincent angry. George finds out that Reilly doesn't work for the Yankees anymore, so he tracks him down to Ohio, where he plans to deliver his line. Kramer finishes the video he rented & discovers it is possible to recover from a coma, so he decides to change his will. Milos' wife has no respect for him; so he asks Jerry to let him beat him in tennis. Elaine receives a phone call from Vincent & they agree to meet. She is surprised to find out he is just a teenager. Kramer goes into a coma after being hit with tennis balls. Meanwhile, in Akron, George delivers his line.



146 THE VAN BUREN BOYS
Air Date: Feb. 6, 97

Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. They all seem over-qualified except one who's a lot like George. Elaine is writing Peterman's biography. Kramer encounters the Van Buren boys & accidentally flashes their gang sign saving himself. Peterman's day-to-day life is very boring, Elaine tells him about Kramer's encounter & Peterman suggests buying the story for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his plans causing George to disqualify him from the scholarship. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine finds Kramer's story about as dull as Peterman's. George tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of Ellen. They like her & he begins to see the light.



147 THE SUSIE
Air Date: Feb. 13, 97

Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball. He hopes to show off his tall blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says she wants to talk. He runs away. "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He really wants to make that big entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact, Kramer attends the game & gets into a fight with a key player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hears about the complaints & demands to see Elaine, Peggy & "Susie" in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry, so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer breaks up with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through the morning meeting. Mike gets trapped in Jerry's trunk. Elaine & Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to eliminate "Susie." George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine delivers the eulogy at "Susie"'s wake, much to the confusion of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance at the ball. Mike escapes from Jerry's trunk & accuses him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell George; Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in "Susie"'s honor.



148 THE POTHOLE
Air Date: Feb. 20, 97

Jerry's girlfriend uses a toothbrush that he had just pulled out of the toilet. George shows off the new Phil Rizzuto key ring. Kramer complains about the failing highway infra-structure, so he adopts a one mile piece of a highway. Elaine tries to order a new Chinese dish, but she lives out of bounds. George loses his keys. Jerry plans to secretly sterilize his girlfriend's mouth. Despite his attempts, he just can't get past "cleanliness" hangup. George theorizes that he may have lost his keys when he jumped over a pothole. Kramer works diligently to keep his part of the road clean. Elaine schemes to get her Chinese food by moving into a janitor's closet, located in the building across the street. A woman who lives in the building begins to complain to her about the cleaning up the building needs. Jenna finds out about the toothbrush & sticks something of Jerry's in his toilet; only he doesn't know what. Kramer's plans to improve his mile of road takes a turn for the worse. Elaine has the gang over for dinner in the janitor closet she's moved into temporarily. George works to clear the pothole. Jerry breaks it off officially when Jenna's toilet problem becomes to much to bear. Elaine brings the garbage to the dump in Jerry's car. Kramer spills the paint thinner on the highway. Sparks hit the spill & Newman is in the middle of the resulting fire.



149 THE ENGLISH PATIENT
Air Date: March 13, 97

A beautiful woman (Danielle) mistakes George for her boyfriend, Neil. George becomes obsessed with meeting this "Neil". Kramer asks Jerry to bring back some "Cubans" while Jerry is in Florida helping his parents move. Elaine sees "The English Patient" on a date & hates it, alienating her from everyone. Jerry buys his dad a T-shirt saying "#1 DAD". Although it's too small his dad wears it all the time. In his parents weight room, Jerry meets Izzy; a very competitive 80 year old who challenges Jerry to weight lifting. Izy throws out his back & blames Jerry. Turns out the cubans aren't cigars, they're really Dominicans that Kramer wants to pass-off as Cubans in rolling cigars for him. Jerry meets the rest of Izzy's comptetive family & puts them in the hospital too. Peterman takes Elaine to see "The English Patient" & she ends up having to live in the Tunisian desert to keep her job. The Dominicans' new job puts the real Neil in the hospital. When Danielle decides to stay with Neil, George gets the last word on Neil.



150 THE NAP
Air Date: April, 10, 97

George constructs a place to nap while at work; under his desk. Kramer finds the local pool too constricting for his swimming needs so he begins swimming in the East River. Elaine's date sends her a mattress for her back but she gets the wrong idea. She gives the mattress to Kramer. Jerry is getting new kitchen cabinets & George ends up getting the contractor to make some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm clock. Steinbrenner visits George's office & decides to wait for George to return. George gets Jerry to phone in a bomb threat in an effort to get Steinbrenner out of his office. Meanwhile, Jerry's contractor, has made a change in Jerry's kitchen that no one likes. Elaine gets her mattress back, but Kramer has fouled it up with the stench of the East River. Elaine's boyfriend discovers the benefits of swimming in the East River too. Steinbrenner hears a ticking sound in George's office, thinks it's a bomb & calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old kitchen back. Elaine throws her back out trying to get rid of the mattress. Kramer's river gets crowded & George finds a new place to nap. - Jerry's cabinets!



151 THE YADA YADA
Air Date: April 24, 97

George's enjoys his girlfriend's use of the phrase "yada yada". Jerry's dentist(Tim Whatley) just became Jewish & is already making jewish jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable. Jerry thinks Tim converted just to corner the joke market. Kramer & Mickey double date but they can't decide which of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference for Beth & Arnie, a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. Mickey & Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets her to fill in the details & discovers much more than he wants to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim's conversion. Kramer decides on the right woman & Mickey also decides to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth & Arnie & makes a huge sacrifice attempting to get them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her marriage falls apart. Beth accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she poclaims an unknown side of her personality.

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152 THE MILLENNIUM
Air Date: May 1, 97

Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year's Eve party two years in advance & he has some strange ideas about what life in that year. George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his position on the speed dial & then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit from the Yankees organization; however, all his attempts make him look better in the organization. The step-mother of Jerry's girlfriend's confronts him over his #1 position on the speed dial. Newman compromises with Kramer about their respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only has one condition, the next century must be "Jerry free." Elaine discovers the clothing store she began frequenting is owned by the same woman who didn't help her at the other store. Kramer reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings & gets Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans her revenge on the store with Kramer's help. Jerry gets caught in the middle of a speed dial war between his girlfriend & stepmother.



153 THE MUFFIN TOPS
Air Date: May 8, 97

Elaine has an idea for a store that sells only muffin tops, but finds that there is nowhere to put the stumps. George watches a bag for a tourist who never comes back, so he starts wearing some of the clothes. Kramer begins claiming that he is the real "Peterman." George becomes a tourist from Arkansas when he meets a beautiful woman from the tourist bureau on the street. Jerry shaves his chest & worries about it until he discovers his girlfriend likes hairless dogs. Kramer starts conducting "Peterman Reality Tours". Steinbrenner is led to believe that George is holding down two jobs & makes a deal to trade George for chicken. . Elaine hires "a cleaner" to make the muffin stump problem go away. While on Kramer's tour, Jerry's chest begins itching from hair growth.



154 THE SUMMER OF GEORGE Season finale
Air Date: May 15, 97

George's severance package from the Yankees should last him about 3 months so he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Kramer goes to the Tony Awards as a seat filler. When Elaine criticizes a co-worker who walks with no arm movements, Elaine is accused of being "catty." Jerry's date has a man living with her. By mistake, Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical starring Raquel Welch. Kramer is confronted by the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" who have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. George is in charge of buying invitations for Lanette's party. Kramer does his duty but pays the price. A mad Raquel Welch gets into a cat fight with Elaine. George gets distracted & slips on an invitation. The gang is back at the hospital, where they were one year ago only this time George is the one in a hospital bed.

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155 THE BUTTER SHAVE Season premiere
Air Date: Sept. 25, 97

Not fully recovered from "The Summer of George", George is using a cane to get around. Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He's also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working, only because he is following Jerry's act, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs & also gets one of Jerry's ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. Kramer finds butter is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the cane -they think he is handicapped & of course he takes full advantage of the situation. Kramer's ends up spreading butter it all over his body. Unfortunately he lays out in the sun where he begins to cook. Newman finds the smell of a cooked Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is going to follow him on the NBC showcase. Jerry plans to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny's act will also bomb, but Kenny gets the last laugh.



156 THE VOICE
Air Date: Oct. 2, 97

Since George's employer found out that he isn't really handicapped, his boss attempts to fire him. However his one year contract with Play Now states that as long as he shows up he'll be paid. Jerry & George mock the sounds that Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach makes during the night. Because of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him that she won't. Kramer is tired of seeing all his ideas implemented by other people, so he hires an intern to take care of the day to day chores that keep him from realizing his ideas. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice & she leaves him. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office & one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his oil tank bladder idea. Jerry continues to cash in on his bet with Elaine, who just can't seem to keep away from Puddy. The big test takes place at George's workplace where Jerry plans to meet Claire. They try to warn her about the falling oil-ball, but all she hears is the voice. The lawsuit that is filed by Claire puts Play Now out of business & George out of a his contract.



157 THE SERENITY NOW
Air Date: Oct. 9, 97

Frank is supposed to say "serenity now" to calm his blood pressure. Jerry's girlfriend comments that she has never seen him get mad. Kramer offers to help George fix his parent's screen door. They remove the old door & Kramer takes it with him. Frank is selling computers & wants to bring George into his business, however, George with be competing against Lloyd Braun. At his bar mitzvah, Lippman's boy takes advantage of Elaine by using his tongue while kissing her. When Jerry learns how to get mad, it releases all his other feelings, including caring which results in a wedding proposal to Elaine. Kramer installs the screen door & ends up fighting with the neighborhood kids of "Anytown, USA." Elaine's "shiksappeal" results in both Lippmans denouncing their religion. Lloyd tells George about the negative side effects of continually using the phrase "serenity now". George releases his own feelings infront of Jerry which has an impact on emotional Jerry. Elaine seeks help from a rabbi to see if she can reduce her "shiksappeal". The side effects of "serenity now" make Kramer lose-it & destroy all of George's computers.



158 THE BLOOD
Air Date: Oct. 16, 97

Jerry's parents are concerned about his lack of exercise. Elaine visits her friend Vivian & is disappointed when Vivian implies that she isn't responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy. George's girlfriend lights some vanilla scented incense. The overpowering scent makes him hungry. He decides he needs to add food as a part of his sex life. His girlfriend tolerates some food items, but not the "salted cured meats." He also comes up with a way to separate pudding skin from the pudding, creating pudding skin singles. Kramer has been storing his blood at a blood bank that begins to raise their rates. In retaliation he decides that he is going to store the blood himself. Jerry starts a purification program to improve his diet. Vivian decides that Kramer would be a good choice for a baby-sitter; however, Elaine intercepts him en-route & proves her responsibility. Jerry, becomes the victim of an Exacto knife wound & winds up with three pints of Kramer blood. Jerry is disturbed by the infusion of Kramer blood. Especially when Kramer calls him a blood brother. George decides that adding television to his equation will make food & sex even better. Jerry's parents buy him sessions with a personal trainer, Izzy, who's going to help him work off his spare tire. Elaine hates her new responsibility, so she tries to make herself appear irresponsible. George's girlfriend doesn't like television in the equation, the "free love buffet" is over. Elaine tries to get out of being responsible, by using George as a "pinch weasel"; however, he may have found the woman of his dreams. Kramer borrows Jerry's air conditioned car to return his blood to the bank. The car overheats because the radiator is bone dry, but not for long. Jerry's last workout with Izzy results in another transfusion of blood, only this time it's not Kramer's.



159 THE JUNK MAIL
Air Date: Oct. 23, 97

Jerry's childhood friend "Fragile" Frankie promises to get Jerry a new car because of a show he did for Frankie's car dealership. George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer plans his revenge on a company because of the over abundance of catalogs they've sent him in the past month. Elaine is back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner & plans to keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if the new guy can "handle the workload." Kramer gets deluged with more catalogs & plans to stop the mail. George's parents cut him short on his weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van & not the Saab he'd hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the country. George pops in on his parents & reminds his parent's they didn't call him back, but they have to leave right away. Kramer bricks up his mail box, but that doesn't stop his mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to sell the van, Kramer helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades considered. Kramer goes to the post office to permanently cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no-one really needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at work. George demands to know what's going on with his parents; they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn't ready for abandonment, he plans to date his cousin as a means of getting his parents involved in his life. Jerry determines that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from some old commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry's van & offers Anthony Quinn's old tee-shirt as an interesting trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer uses the van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George's cousin is into their relationship; however, George schemes to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer is captured & enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine's boyfriend gets his second piece of good news in one day, his TV career has been revitalized & she is taking him back. Jerry must sell the van after seeing what they saw.



160 THE MERV GRIFFIN SHOW
Air Date: Nov. 6, 97

Kramer discovers the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster. George's girlfriend, Miranda, is disgusted when George runs over some pigeons with his car. The pigeons have broken their deal with the humans. Jerry is fascinated with his girlfriend's old toy collection that she won't let him near. Elaine's new co-worker is a real sideler, he causes her to spill coffee that creates a stain that looks like Fidel Castro. Kramer reconstructs the set in his apartment & begins to conduct interviews of everyone who enters his apartment. Elaine schemes to out-sidle the sideler who might be sidling her out of a job. While George swerves to avoid a pigeon, he hits a squirrel. Jerry schemes for an opportunity to play with the toys. Kramer adds Newman as a co-host for his show to help relieve the pressure of being a host. Miranda insists that George pay for the special surgery required to fix the squirrel. Elaine gives Tic Tacs to the sideler to make him noisy, unfortunately the sound reminds Peterman of an old Haitian torture. Jerry & George execute a turkey, wine & home movie scheme in an effort to play with the toys. Elaine is disgusted by this unconscionable behavior, until she hears about the Easy-Bake Oven. Kramer decides to change the format of the show, to "Scandals & Animals." On the show, Jerry's girlfriend finds out about the schemes & animal expert Jim Fowler is there with a hawk. George brings the squirrel over to the set to get Jim Fowler's opinion. Hawks like to eat squirrels.



161 THE SLICER
Air Date: Nov. 13, 97

Elaine is having nightmares & sleeplessness nights due to her neighbor's inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country & has left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.. George gets a dream job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar to him, then a photo in the boss's office reminds him of "the boom box incident." Fearing that he might lose his new position, George listens to Kramer's advice & plots to get hold of the photograph & get it retouched. Kramer's dissatisfied with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains a meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit her neighbor's apartment & blow the circuit breaker. Jerry is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended, but the date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about saving lives. The photo lab screws up the retouching by eliminating the boss from the photograph & not George. Jerry discovers the doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses the meat slicer to help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat; the power outage shut off the automatic feeder. Jerry's revenge date goes well, until he is reminded of the phrase "skin cancer." Elaine is still using the slicer & finds it very handy, until she tries to even her high heels. George goes back to the photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph as a cartoon. He now needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast Guard. Jerry's doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him as she does skin cancer screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some circus clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the slicer; she fixes it & quickly shoves it out the door. Kramer sees the dinged up blade & tries to get back into her apartment, but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has developed an allergic reaction to something as hives have broken out on his neck. Elaine discovers she is trapped inside her apartment. Jerry goes down to George's workplace & confronts the doctor about his hives. She leaves & Kramer, in his white meat slicing coat, steps in as the skin cancer doctor & spots a growth on George's boss. George gets his bare-chested photo. Kramer wants to come clean about the growth; George tells him he will tell his boss to see another doctor. George's boss doesn't think it is a problem, a ten-year-old photo of him shows the mole, it hasn't changed. He also relates to George the story about the dumb guy on the beach with the boom box. He mentions to George (as others have) that he sure has lost a lot of hair in the past ten years. Despite all of that, he gets to keep the job. Later, the guys keep Elaine company as they wait for the locksmith to come & open her apartment.



162THE BETRAYAL
Air Date: Nov. 20, 97

NOTE: This episode was shown backwards in the following fashion: all scenes were shown normally, but they were shown in reverse order with a caption indicating the time frame of the scene in relation to the previous scene. Essentially the punch-line was delivered & the setup was shown later. The description for the episode, reflects the order in which the scenes appear. An intriguing concept that forced the viewer to pay closer attention than normal.
Jerry, George & Elaine return from their trip to India that they don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off & Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry slept with Nina & Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer & FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra. Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George & Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the groom is someone she slept with & that they are the only people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry at Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry & Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her wedding. Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from Newman. Elaine finds that Jerry & Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancÚ who try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren't even going. Jerry & Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date & realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry & George are walking down the street & they run into Nina & old girlfriend of Jerry's whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday & FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells George & Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven years earlier, new resident Jerry tells his neighbor across the hall, Kramer, that what's mine is yours.



163THE APOLOGY
Air Date: Dec. 11, 97

Jerry's girlfriend walks around his apartment naked. An old friend of the gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) & is currently working on step 9, where you make amends to individuals for past wrongs. George is anxious to receive Jason's apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine is offended when her co-worker, Peggy, can't tolerate Elaine's germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other people. Kramer discovers he's been taking too long in the shower, so he tries to make some changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes to realize there is good naked & bad naked, when he sees his girlfriend coughing. Jason fails to apologize to George so George confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer decides to live in the shower. Jason's sponsor recommends that George attend a meeting of Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA). After doing his dishes in the shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal to bathtub. Puddy tells Elaine why her co-worker doesn't like her germs, she's a "germ-o-phobe," like he used to be ten years ago. Jerry convinces his girlfriend to put on her clothes; however, he can only picture her naked & unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer cooks up a meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy & the recovering Peggy, only they all react badly when they find he made the meal in the shower. Jason tries to apologize to George, but it isn't quite what George had in mind so they both go into a rage.



164THE STRIKE
Air Date: Dec. 18, 97

At Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to a guy in a denim vest. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place after an 11 year strike. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the angle & the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday & contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike. George passes out his gifts & reaps great rewards. Kruger gives George a check for $20,000 to the "Human Fund" & later accounting informs him the charity doesn't exist. Because of Kramer's comments, Gwen thinks Jerry is two timing her with an ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that he passed out the fake gift cards because he didn't want to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally celebrates, Festivus. To prove it, George brings Kruger to his father's Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together.



165THE DEALERSHIP
Air Date: Jan. 8, 98

Jerry's getting an insider deal from Puddy, who's been promoted to a car salesman. Kramer takes the car Jerry is planning to buy for a test drive with another salesman. Puddy offers Jerry a "high five." Kramer decides to give the car a full test of a Kramer daily routine. George seeks out something to eat..... At the vending machine, the Twix bar hangs. Elaine & Puddy have a fight & break up. Jerry's insider deal is off. George confronts a mechanic about eating his Twix bar. George tries to complain about the mechanic, but gets into a debate about candy bars. Jerry tries to put Elaine & Puddy "in a relationship today." George sets up a candy bar lineup, to implicate the mechanic, only to find his lineup being eaten. Elaine & Puddy get back together & Jerry is going to get his deal, until Puddy says "high five me" to Jerry, one time too many. Kramer & the salesman, with the dealership in sight & the tank way below empty decide to "go for it" instead.

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166THE REVERSE PEEPHOLE
Air Date: Jan. 15, 98

Puddy is wearing a fur coat ("man fur"). Kramer & Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea, he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine & "man furred" Puddy go to Joe Mayo's party. Elaine decides to throw "Dr. Zauis" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer & Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree. Jerry complains about having to carry all his girlfriend's stuff & Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carry-all. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat & she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen & the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new "8 ball" coat.



167THE CARTOON
Air Date: Jan. 29, 98

Kramer's brutal honesty, gets Jerry in trouble with Susan's old college roommate, Sally Weaver. Elaine obsesses over the meaning of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker. Elaine & later Kramer comments that George's new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry. Kramer makes an important like decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to stop talking. Sally opens her new one woman show about "Jerry Seinfeld- the Devil." Elaine gets her the opportunity to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally about her show. Elaine's first comic appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it's great, until he realizes it is a Ziggy & he can prove it. George's girlfriend gets gum in her hair. To remove the gum, she cuts her hair, her new hairstyle looks exactly like Jerry's. George runs out of the apartment screaming. Sally's new cable show is on & Jerry is convinced she'll have nothing to talk about. He was so wrong. George decides to take a few days off from his relationship with Jerry.



168THE STRONG BOX
Air Date: Feb. 20, 5

George tries to break up with his girlfriend, only she doesn't agree. Jerry purchases cuff links worn by Jerry Lewis in Cinderfella. He plans to use them as a conversation starter with Lewis when he goes to an upcoming roast at the Friar's Club. A mystery-man intrigues Elaine. With robberies occurring in the building, Kramer has obtained a strong box to hold his valuables. George decides that cheating on his girlfriend might be his ticket out. Kramer hides the key to his stong box at Phil's, his neighbor. Elaine's mystery man turns out to be poor & on welfare. Jerry needs his cufflinks for the roast, only to find out that Kramer has locked them in his strong box. The key to the strong box was hidden in the parrot's food dish, but the parrot is now dead & buried in a pet cemetery. George tries getting caught with another woman, only both women agree that they can work with George through this incident. Elaine discovers that Glenn is, in fact, married. Kramer & Jerry go to the pet cemetery to exhume the key, only Jerry is caught by his neighbor.



169THE WIZARD
Air Date: Feb. 26, 98

Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. Susan's parents inform George that the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Jerry & George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend & that intrigues her (is he black?). Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. In Florida, Jerry discovers that Kramer has moved down there to join the other retirees. Susan's parents ask Elaine about George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George is caught in a lie. Morty decides that Kramer should run for condo board president. When Elaine's boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is black. George keeps building on his lie as he picks up the Rosses & takes them on their ride to the Hamptons. Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Kramer says that Bob Saccamando's father can get Wizards for a good price. Elaine & her boyfriend discover that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando's father comes through with knock-off tip calculators called Willards, they are defective & the election is lost. George & the Rosses finally reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.



170THE BURNING
Air Date: March 19, 98

Because of the presets she discovers on his car radio, Elaine thinks that Puddy is religious. Jerry suggests that during meetings with Kruger, George use the old showmanship trick of leaving on a high note. Kramer & Mickey get an acting gig playing sick for some medical students. Jerry's girlfriend, Sophie, calls him with the familiar "it's me" greeting only he doesn't recognize her voice. For their acting job, Mickey gets bacterial meningitis & Kramer has gonorrhea. Elaine confirms that Puddy is religious. Kramer picks up on the showmanship idea & really plays up his gonorrhea part. Jerry calls Sophie, but she doesn't recognize Jerry's voice & thinks he is someone else; Jerry discovers that she hasn't told him about the tractor story. Puddy doesn't have a problem with Elaine not being religious, after all he is not the one who's "going to hell." Kruger throws everyone off the project because they are boring, so now George is the only other member of the project team. Kramer receives rave reviews for his portrayal of gonorrhea, but now he feels he has been typecast so he takes Mickey's ailment. Sophie tries to tell Jerry the tractor story, but he tells her not to worry about it, thinking that it refers to the scar on her leg. Kramer & Mickey come in arguing about getting gonorrhea & Sophie clears it up for both of them. With that, Jerry leaves on a high note. Meanwhile, back at the project meeting, Kruger decides to leave George on a high note.



171THE BOOKSTORE
Air Date: April 9, 98

Jerry and George are at a bookstore when Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a large book into the bathroom with him. Elaine is at the annual Peterman party, where everyone is anxious to know if she is going to dance again. The bookstore makes George buy the book that he took into the bathroom. At the party, Elaine and a man named Zach got drunk and made out at their table. George suggests that she tell everyone that she and Zach are dating, that way she won't be known as the "office skank." Kramer and Newman plan to implement Kramer's idea for running a rickshaw service in the city. Jerry confronts Uncle Leo about the stolen book. Uncle Leo claims it is a right as a senior citizen to steal. Kramer and Newman attempt to interview potential rickshaw pullers from a collection of homeless men; however, their first candidate takes off with the rickshaw. George tries to return his book, but is told the book has been flagged as having been in the bathroom. Jerry rats out Uncle Leo at the bookstore.

Elaine finds out Zach is seeing another woman and plans to use the cheating angle to protect her reputation. Jerry tries to talk with Uncle Leo, but the only thing Uncle Leo tells him is that he never forgets when he's been betrayed. George discovers his book has been flagged in all the databases as a bathroom book. Elaine's plan goes awry when Peterman demands that she help Zach get off the "yam yam" by helping him to quit cold turkey. George tries to donate his book to charity, but even they won't take the marked book. While pulling the rickshaw uphill, Kramer lets it go and the results are disastrous for Elaine's recovered "boyfriend" Zach. George plans to steal a good copy of the book, so he can return it to get his money back. Jerry turns George in to the store manager who has been told that the store needs to make a good example out of a shoplifter, any shoplifter, as long as they catch him in the act.



172THE FROGGER
Air Date: April 23, 98

Elaine is tired of all of the forced socializing at work, so she calls in the sick the following day. Jerry & George are going to their old high-school hangout for one last slice of pizza. At the pizza parlor, George discovers he still has the high score on the old Frogger video game. Elaine's co-workers give her a cake to celebrate her return to work from being sick, she refuses to take part in any future celebrations. George decides to buy the Frogger machine, but Jerry asks him how he is going to move it and keep it plugged in to preserve the high score. So George works to find a solution to his Frogger problem. Elaine misses the 4 o'clock sugar rush she had gotten used to from all the celebrations, so she decides to raid Peterman's refrigerator, where she finds a piece of cake which turns out to be worth $29,000 because of its historical significance. The cake comes from the 1937 wedding of King Edward VIII.

Elaine tries to even out Peterman's slice of cake, but gets swept up in the moment and finishes it off. George tries to coordinate the movement of Frogger machine. Elaine looks for a replacement for Peterman's cake, Kramer suggests an Entemann's cake. Peterman has his piece of cake appraised at $2.19. When George finds out that his Frogger game is running on battery power and only has about three minutes of power remaining it's up to George to get the Frogger machine across the street to a power supply. Later, Peterman shows Elaine surveillance videotape of her eating and "dancing" with the slice of cake; he is convinced that the age of the cake and its effect on her digestive system are all the punishment she needs.



173THE MAID
Air Date: April 30, 98

George searches for a nickname and decides on "T-bone". Jerry has hired a maid to clean his apartment but Elaine suspects there is more than cleaning going on. Kramer's girlfriend is moving downtown (10 minutes by subway) to a different way of life. Kramer tells Elaine he is having a fax sent to her apartment, only Elaine informs him that she doesn't have a fax machine. George makes a play for being called "T-bone" at work, but a coworker gets the honor. Elaine gets home to find 57 messages waiting for her, most of them attempted faxes for Kramer. Elaine catches Jerry kissing the maid & Jerry confesses that he has a personal and work relationship with his maid named Cindy. Kramer tells Elaine that he signed up for a food delivery service & they're going to fax him menus for all the restaurants for the next year. Elaine gets a new number and with it a new area code. Kramer and his girlfriend are having a relationship by phone. George wants his nickname and confronts his coworker, Kruger sees George's gestures through a window and it reminds him of "Koko the Monkey." Elaine finds out a woman in her building has died, she had a telephone number with a 212 area code. When Cindy takes her fee but leaves without cleaning anything, Jerry wonders what he's paid for. Kramer calls him "a john".

Kramer returns from visiting his girlfriend and reports the oddities he saw there. The gang tries to communicate while sitting at Monk's counter. Jerry's maid tells George that there is woman at the cleaning service named Koko. George sees this as an opportunity to get out from under this nickname. Jerry breaks up with Cindy & fires her. Kramer breaks up with his girlfriend and she throws him out. He gets lost downtown and calls on Jerry for help. While going to rescue Kramer, Jerry is confronted by his Cindy's pimp-like boss. He says that Jerry must pay Cindy. Jerry spots Cindy walking down the street and tries to pay her but gets busted by the police. Cindy's boss then picks up Kramer and it might lead to a new career in cleaning. George gets out from under being "Koko," only to get another nickname, "Gammy."



174THE PUERTO RICAN DAY
Air Date: May 7, 98

The gang tries to get back into town after leaving a ballgame early. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. Stuck in traffic from the Puerto Rican day parade, Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie. George's attempt to be funny at the movie is going to be undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body.

Elaine seeks an alternate way home while Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, to get access to the bathroom. Jerry, going by the alias Kal Varnsen goes to the apartment to watch the end of the ballgame on TV. Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire and a mob of people, led by the armoire stealing tough guys. Art Vandelay (George) seeks the use of a bathroom and runs into Varnsen. Pennypacker joins them on the run from the mob. Varnsen wants know who's watching the "Saab factory". The mob is watching it; however, they leave it in a precarious position.

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175THE CLIP SHOW
Air Date: May 14, 98

Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to the movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories. Featuring relationships (getting in & out) and a series of bloopers.

NOTE: Shown as a 45 minute special prior to the Series Finale
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175THE FINALE
Air Date: May 14, 98

Jerry and George discuss the movies and George's desire to get his fifteen minutes of fame. Kramer is off to the beach. Elaine calls a friend, whose father is in the hospital, with her cell phone; Jerry and George tell her that is a social faux pas. Jerry gets a message from NBC that they want to talk about the pilot. So Jerry and George go to meet with the new vice president of programming, who is interested in turning their pilot into a 13 episode series. Jerry and George begin to make plans to move to California. Jerry interrupts Elaine's phone call to her friend to tell her about the NBC deal. When he finds out what she did, he tells her that was an even greater faux pas than the cell phone. Jerry and George's parents are excited by the news about the NBC deal. NBC offers Jerry & George a perk, free use of one of their private jets to anywhere they want. Kramer returns from the beach, but has a little bit of water trapped in his year. Kramer warns they'll never come back from LA, "she's a seductress". Hey! He did.

The foursome decides where they want to take the private jet. They finally decide on Paris. As they are ready to leave, Elaine plans to call her friend again; Jerry tells her it is not right to rush that kind of phone call. Elaine avoids a faux pas. Newman begs to be brought along, when Jerry denies him, he vows to be there at Jerry's day of reckoning. The private jet, except for George who wanted the one Ted Danson would have gotten impresses everyone. With water still in his ear, Kramer tries to get it out mid-flight. He stumbles into the cockpit and the plane starts going into a crash dive. During the descent, George confesses he cheated during "the contest" and Elaine and Jerry are about to tell each other something important, when the plane corrects itself. The plane puts down in the small town of Latham, Massachusetts for a checkup. The foursome goes into town and debates about if they are going to get back on the plane. They witness the robbery of a fat guy, which they all mock and Kramer videotapes. They are arrested under the Good Samaritan established by the town.

They are looking at a fine of a maximum of $85,000 and up to five years in prison. The guard assumes they are going to be prosecuted since this is the first offense of this kind in the country. Jackie Chiles is called in for their defense. The prosecution decides to look into the past of these four and build a case that will destroy their characters. Rivera Live covers the trial. Jerry and George's parents prepare to go to Latham for the trial. Newman (who's absolutely delighted), Uncle Leo, Peterman, Puddy, Mickey, Bania, Mr. & Mrs. Ross, Rabbi Glickman, Keith Hernandez and George Steinbrenner also make their way to Latham. Jackie tries to give George a moral compass. The judge, Arthur Vandelay, begins the trial. George thinks the name might be a good sign. The trial begins with opening arguments.

The videotape Kramer made is played for the jury. When the NBC executives arrive, George forgets about the trial for a moment and complains loudly about the plane. The prosecution begins to call their witnesses. Each witness called does more to breakdown the character of the foursome. The first witness is the elderly woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from. The virgin, Marla, is called to the stand and she tells the court about the foursome's contest. Further testimony is given by the bubble boy. The woman who needed a handicapped spot. The doctor who was on duty the night Susan died. Sidra, the woman with no implants. Mr. Bookman, the library cop. George's former girlfriend Robin, whose apartment caught on fire. The security guard from the parking garage. A detective from when Kramer was dressed like a pimp. The low-talker tries to testify (only she can't be heard). Steinbrenner talks about calzone and George's communism. The man who runs the cock-fights. The pharmacist who sold Elaine a case of contraceptive sponges. A co-worker tells about Elaine's Christmas card. Mr. Pitt tells about when Elaine tried to kill him with a pillow. The soup nazi takes the stand and finally Babu Bhatt returns to the US to tell about the cafe and his deportation. They are "very, very, bad."

Rivera Live reports that the jury is in deliberation. Meanwhile, the foursome speculates on life in prison. Estelle tries to bride the judge to be lenient on George if he's found guilty. A montage of activity is shown while the jury is in deliberation, that includes people we didn't see testifying like the Rabbi, Wilhelm, Keith Hernandez, Bania, Peterman, Puddy, Newman, Mr. Lippman, Poppie, Mr. Ross browsing for a handgun and ends with Jackie Chiles cross-examining Sidra outside the courtroom. The jury comes back. Jerry asks Elaine what she was going to say to him on the plane as it was crashing. She responds, "I always loved U-United Airlines". The jury returns a verdict of guilty. The foursome shows no remorse as they are sentenced to a year in jail. Jackie testifies to Jerry about Sidra's lack of implants. Jerry closes with a prison-based monologue.

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